A Poem: In anticipation of new year

May we Love and Be Loved

May we be free of mixed motives
Obtain a heart of purity
One that is set to will only one thing
Realizing the interconnectivity of the earth
Able to understand our role in our world
Willing to Forgive
Willing to be Forgiven
Ready to enter into a mess
Finally seeing change for the better

May we as the Tree
Sink roots into that life-giving substance
nourished to grow up and out
May we allow ourselves to be pruned...
when there are things attached to us -
that need to die
May we bloom and give fruit
To be shared - so that another Tree -
may take root into that life-giving substance

8.18.08
i wrote this on a night of silence in preparation of a new year as being an Resident Assistant in Smith Hall. As i reflected upon the summer and praying for guidance in a new year. this was my prayer for myself, my friends, and for the campus. It used the school theme for the year: Root, Grow, Bloom, which i rather like. and i have loved hearing reference and metaphoric allusions to it all year. it doesn't get old for me. i love the idea of having a theme that a whole community strives to understand and embody. It is a very up-building and connecting thing to do and it makes me appreciate and feel tied to the community i am a part of even more.

Reflections from Godspeed the Plough

Godspeed the Plough was the name of the conference on Church and Agriculture that i attended last weekend. A group from Anderson went and i met up with them after coming from the memorable IU vs. AU basketball game in Bloomington. The conference was at Englewood church in Indianapolis.

I had been to Englewood before. To a New Monasticism conference or get together. I could easily discern that the church community there was continuing to grow, flourish, and tackle life together. very uplifting for me to see. just a lot of great people in the church doing very creative things, it was great to rub shoulders with a handful of them. it kinda puts a physical appearance on a lot of things that the church i'm a part of, The Mercy House is trying to do or may do in the future. They have a book review, publishing house, urban garden, beehives, they own a lot of houses around the block and fixing them up for people to live in, they make amazing homegrown meals, they have school, they were just starting a food co-op for their neighborhood, some of the people live close and in a tight community with one another and so forth. these are just some of things that i saw and i am sure there is much more. the church just seemed so simple but they were doing such radical things to help their world and their neighbors.

But as to the conference... it was also very inspiring. i have been at school for a couple months and have been away from agricultural initiatives since mid-August when school started. it was very nostalgic for me as i kept thinking back to my family's farm where i grew up and where i had a garden last summer. i kept getting visions on things i could improve and do anew next year and the years to come. This was especially true when sitting in on a break out session called Land, Art, and Agriculture. I have come to see agriculture as an art-form as of late. It is so interesting and stimulating how aesthetics and function can be so interwoven. in many ways these are so compatible that on a farm they are always present together. a farm is a lot like the recycling symbol. death brings new life and life brings death. the plants and food grown one year become next year's soil in a compost pile. livestock provide blackgold and other produce as they do favors for you around the farm as long as the farmer knows how to use them and keeps them fed. When widening my perspective of what a farm is i grew to appreciate everything in nature that was around me, because even the most miniscule things have tremendous purpose. Weeds can give indications of soil health, forests are gardens that we may never see the harvest of, water falls miraculously from the sky to keep everything vibrant, so many things were made for each-other to keep the farm and nature functioning as one organism. this cycle and this way of the earth never ceases to fascinate me.

I will post further on my experience at this conference in the near future and address what questions it forced me to struggle with and what i am learning as a result of the questions.

On Consumption

This semester i have been studying a lot to do with Eastern philosophy and Religion. Where as in the West we emphasize 'the individual' the East emphasizes the community. in the West we praise success that move up and advances to something better. The East generally thinks it better to live in simplicity. for them the corollary is: the more stuff and attachments one has, the more anxious and miserable that person is likely to be. In the West we praise the good ingenious ideas but for the East: thoughts and beliefs are useless unless they are lived out. My biggest two role models comes out of Eastern Society: Jesus and Gandhi. Since i agree so much with the side of the world in which i do not live, i often start off many things by having a philosophical collision from the very foundation with most folks. i believe that many of our underlining ideas about how things are and the way they could or should operate is top-side down. that is why i absolutely love how people like Jesus can in so many words turn an etire mentality on its nose. the truth is often otherworldly and for us the East is that other world. imagine what it would be like to try to live like Eastern folks in America. If we truly lived it out i would straight up confuse and bring curiosity to folks. The truth, i am finding, is almost always subversive/counter-cultural like this. 2.4.08

In hindsight this has a lot to do with consumption. Really the east holds the mentality that the west lacks to solve the problem of over-consumption. however, the east is getting smaller and smaller. china, india and other formally eastern societies are more western like now. Really the struggle is between Globalization and Traditionalism. Globalization spreads the so called virtues of the west to the four corners of the globe. While traditional or eastern societies, who are often impoverished, take the new ideas as gospel because perhaps it provides a better way to survive. who knows, they may think. but there very often is a call to go back once trying out a new technology, economy style, ect. to save the earth from many of ecological problems, it would do us well to re-examine ancient wisdoms, provided usually from the eastern, ancient, cultures

What Kierkegaard Has Done to Me

"I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my freindly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both." Kierkegaard

i always have a deep sense that there is something better somewhere else, and i am missing out on it. this is true, there are countless opportunities that i would love to take part in, but i will never have the chance. this has always disturbed me to the point that i never have been satisfied by my current situations. basically, it has led me to a state of depression. i always want to leave, to transfer, to change my major, to break up, to move out, to leave. i want another life than the one i am living. the above quote exemplifies my frustration. because if i i were to leave and choose another, altogether new situation, i would still regret not choosing one of the other choices. moreover, i would regret not fulfilling the situation that preceded it, leaving it unfinished and not completely matured. thus i will never be content, right? yet, i know that there is a way to be happy. i am in the situation i am in for some sort of reason, and i can choose to be content with that. no. this is too hard for me to do or say. there are too many passions left unrealized. i want to do it all. i want to see it all. i want to be a part of it all. but i cannot. my life in the span of human existence is rather unimportant, thus the goal is eternal not finite contentment and harmony. Harmony is a daily struggle. there must be hope of this and i shall move towards finding it. 3.2.08